14 Lessons in 14 Years


Today I celebrate 14 years of marriage to an amazing woman.  There is certainly much more to learn, but below are a listing of 14 of the top life-lessons-from-marriage that are true for me.  Because I write these from a husband’s perspective, these may be more helpful for the guys who happen to stumble across this…Me & Em

1.  She is frequently right more often than I am.  This is difficult to admit, and I am grateful that she [usually] doesn’t smear this in my face.

2.  “Fine” is never, ever, ever an acceptable answer to any question.  Ever.

3.  A weekly calendar planning meeting keeps a couple/family on the same page and dramatically decreases the likelihood of conflict.  If I’m blocking out intentional time to do this with people we work with, why do we not extend the same courtesy to our spouse?

4.  Sex is a wonderful gift, but is maybe 10% of a great marriage.  (Kudos to you, God, for all your imagination on day 6/Gen. 1:27-28).

5.  Seasons when money is insanely tight  are opportunities to bring us closer together and to point out the things that are truly important IF we both submit to God’s teaching and embrace it as a blessing.

6.  When her opening remark is “I just don’t feel very connected with you right now,” make direct eye contact, do not blink,  shut your mouth, listen, release every urge to be defensive and respond with “I’m sorry. I completely see how you would feel that way.”

7.  No matter how hard my day was at work, her day at home with the kids was more difficult.

8.  I need to plan special things for us as a couple and also as a family, and follow through with them.

9.  If we don’t pray together, I never really see what’s happening in her heart.

10.  Thought put into a gift is way more important than how much was spent.

11.  She really is more beautiful today than the day I married her.  I’ve heard people say that before and thought they were just being nice…but it’s actually true.

12.  She is my best friend. (This is evidenced by the fact that she is still here & genuinely likes me after moments of ridiculous childishness).

13.  Seeing her grow, develop and succeed at her career and ministry gives me great joy and makes me love her more.

14.  Every year goes by faster.  Even though I’m not great at it, I do want to savor each moment more than giving into the desire to press on to the next milestone.

Babe, when we bought those guitars I never imagined what the future held for us.  I love you.

3 thoughts on “14 Lessons in 14 Years

  1. Wanda

    Michael, reading this with my morning coffee made my throat tighten and my eyes tear. What a loving, thoughtful and really caring man you have become! Your love for Emily is so much greater than just love for another human being….it is love for every aspect of her, for every thought she has, for every movement she makes for every ounce of her being! Your love is what every woman prays her son- in-law will feel for her daughter! You are your mother’s son!!


  2. Margaret Andrade

    This is awesome Michael!!! I might need to send this link my husbands way. 😉 Happy Anniversary to a great couple!


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